‘Nurturing Belonging’ With Leadership & Team Coach Kelly Meerbott

The Destiny Awakening Interviews is a podcast with Andrew Wayfinder and his guests.

Every week (sometimes more) we have a short focused interview with an expert, author, speaker designed to bring you powerful insights, inspiration and ways to break free, live life by your vision and values, and make a difference in our changing and challenging world.

Listen to the podcast at: https://www.andrewwayfinder.com/blog/DA0039

Andrew Hryniewicz

Okay, so hello everyone and a very warm welcome to another edition of The Destiny Awakening Interviews.

I’m Andrew Wayfinder Hryniewicz. And I’m joined today by Kelly Meerbott, Transformational Business Coach, Leadership and Team Development Expert, Speaker, Facilitator and Podcast host.

And a very warm welcome to you, Kelly. And where are you hanging out today?

Kelly Meerbott

Thank you, Andrew. And I’m just so glad to be here. Thank you for inviting me.

I’m in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, actually right outside in a small town called Nervous but most people know Philadelphia, so it’s a little bit easier.

Andrew Hryniewicz

Okay, great. Yeah, it’s a beautiful city from the few chances I’ve had to experience it.

Kelly Meerbott

Yeah, it’s a great city. And there’s fantastic people and great culture and great diversity. It’s just it’s an incredible place to live. And it’s a great time to be here. So…

Andrew Hryniewicz

Cool. Well, let’s get on to the the work you do.

Kelly Meerbott

Okay.

Andrew Hryniewicz

It’s really fascinating. So for 20 plus years, Kelly’s used her experience in sales, marketing and business building, to support leaders and companies like Virgin America, McDonald’s, Walt Disney, the Ritz, Carlton, Comcast, and many more.

Kelly’s helped C-suite Leaders and newly promoted or high responsibility executives, develop their leadership skills and their potential.

I think the way to describe it is to quote one of our clients, who said, “I’m much more aware of my impact on my team in a leadership role… Kelly has propelled me to another phase of my life. She’s professional, supportive, creative, nurturing, and authentic.”

So thank you, Kelly, for your time today. And we’re going to be talking about “Nurturing Belonging”. And Kelly’s going to unpack that idea by answering six questions.

So the first question, Kelly, who is your ideal client, and what’s the transformation, your work helps them achieve?

Kelly Meerbott

So, it’s anybody who’s felt like they don’t belong… And we basically unpack whatever that is that’s holding them back from belonging to themselves first.

And what I mean by that is, however, they manifest in life, you know, being comfortable in your own skin. Just being — without having to change or contort yourself to whatever is telling you need to change or contort yourself to.

So it’s really anybody who’s felt like they don’t belong, that’s my ideal client.

Andrew Hryniewicz

Yeah. It’s interesting because, before the show, we were talking about how you work with top executives and a whole range of people in the military. So, “not belonging” sounds kind of fluffy, in that context.

So, question number two, with these sorts of people coming through the door, what’s the challenge they’re facing? That this process or this transformation responds to?

Kelly Meerbot

They don’t understand that, we’ll use the military as an example… They don’t understand what true “empathy and compassion” is. They don’t understand the power, or why they need to care for themselves emotionally.

And believe it or not, that can make you feel like you don’t belong… if you’re feeling anxious, or worried. Or because you haven’t taken care of yourself. Because all you’ve been doing for 20 years is witnessing trauma, and you’re not dealing with that trauma.

That’s going to make you feel isolated and alone. I mean, you and I both have trauma backgrounds, right? Traumas are very isolating.

So if I can bring them back to their center, and help them find their “True North”, which is really what you believe in at your core.

Your core values, those guiding principles. And then teach them that there is value in them, no matter how they show up in the world.

Then, from that place, they’re going to be better leaders. Because they’re not going to be projecting their figurative wounds on other people, and bleeding all over the world. They’ll be whole and healed.

Andrew Hryniewicz

Yeah. Well, it’s interesting before we were talking about trauma and leadership…

And, not to get into politics, but clearly, leaders like Trump, like Johnson here in the UK… They’re not mentally intact or emotionally strong and stable people.

They’re very, very damaged and very wounded. And they’re pushing that out to the people around them.

Kelly Meerbott

Yeah, I mean, you and I believe that everything’s energy, you know. And they’re tapping into our lowest form of energy, which is fear, that primal fear.

And when you probe that fear, it’s really easy to get people to follow along with you, because they’re afraid. They don’t know what else to do.

And they’re like, “Well, I recognize that”, because we can only recognize in others what we have in ourselves, right? So it’s trauma, recognizing trauma… Probe that, fear follows along, right?

So, yeah… I mean, I look at Boris Johnson and Donald Trump, and I feel pity and compassion for them. Because I want to know what, who didn’t hug them as children? Who didn’t love on them?

Like, how did we end up here? You know, and you and I discussed it… I had a traumatic response to Trump myself when I was like… I can’t dislike somebody without really knowing about them.

So I went down this whole rabbit hole, where I read a bunch of books about him, and I was like, “Okay, this is what happened”.

You know, where bullying and lying were, “trained” to him as business tactics. So when you think of it that way, it’s like, “Oh, I’m not a bad person. I’m just doing a business tactic.” Well, you’re supposed to know better than that. So…

Andrew Hryniewicz

So, question number three, what’s the number one insight you would share with someone to help them right now?

Kelly Meerbott

We can handle anything in the present moment… It’s the fear of what might happen, that truly unravels us. So stay present.

Andrew Hryniewicz

Great idea. Now, in your own experience, question number four: what concept, book program, talk or experience has had the greatest impact on your own development?

Kelly Meerbott

Byron Katie’s “The Work”. She’s been a teacher and a trainer of mine since 2013. And I, I’m proud to say I’ve met her. I volunteered for her turnaround house.

“The Work” is powerful, it’s free and available to anybody. What I loved about it, Andrew, is what would happen between like therapy appointments.

And I told you this before we got on air, part of my self-care is going to see a therapist. You know that I do that, that’s part of my plan.

But what would happen is I would go. I would feel better. All this stuff… And then two days later, my world would fall apart. And I was like, “Okay, I have to wait another week, to see what can I do myself.”

And when I discovered “The Work”…

It’s a written meditation. And it’s very simple. It’s four questions and a turnaround. And you can go download any of the resources from her website.

She changed my life. And anytime I get back in the work… I mean, even my husband went on a retreat with me to learn “The Work”. And he’s, you know, when I’m off balance, he’ll say, “You know, ‘The Work’ works”. Yep, it sure does.

So, yeah, I can’t say enough about her, her team. I mean, that whole organization is fantastic.

Andrew Hryniewicz

Okay, great. We’ll put that in the in the show notes. And so question number five: what free resource would you like to share with the audience?

Kelly Meerbott

So we have a couple for the audience, actually. We have an Anti-Racism Resource Guide, we also have our podcast, we have tons of free resources.

But you know, the thing I was thinking about specifically for your audience is a Mental Health and Self-Care assessment that I love to share.

Because I think everybody really needs to turn up the volume and amplify their self-care right now.

Because things are intense and changing all the time. And change, you know, is viewed by the brain as a death. So it’s, there’s a lot of grief involved.

And if you can get back to taking care of yourself and making sure your vessel is filled, then you’re going to be doing better than most people. So…

Andrew Hryniewicz

Okay, great. So the last question, what should I have asked you, that I didn’t ask you?

Kelly Meerbott

That’s a great question. There’s so many… I mean, “How did I get into coaching?”

Andrew Hryniewicz

Okay, how did you get into coaching?

Kelly Meerbott

I got laid off. And, you know, you and I both believe in signs and I’m a big believer that the universe puts you in pain in order to get you to shift, right?

So I wasn’t going to leave my corporate job. I was making lots of money, but I was physically sick. I would get sick every day when I went into the office.

And when I got the envelope with my name on it on January 20, 2009, at 9am. And the only reason I know that is because it was Inauguration Day.

You know, I would not have left. I needed to be pushed out the door in order to do what I’m called to do, which is to coach.

And you and I had a great discussion prior to getting the mics live. You said “It is like a parent watching a child blossom”.

And for me, you know, watching someone break through, or really peel away all of those things that are detracting from who they are at their core… is like a miracle unfolding in front of me.

And to be able to bear witness to that, and hold the space for somebody is something that I’m honored to do. And it moves me every day. People and their progress move me every day, and I love it so much.

I love just being able to help people and by leveraging my own mistakes and where I was.

You know, to say “Hey, listen, I was face down in the mud. It was awful. I didn’t want to get laid off. But here I am.” And yeah, 12 and a half years later, who knew?

Andrew Hryniewicz

Okay, great. So, that’s perfect. Kelly, thank you so much for your time tonight.

Kelly Meerbott

My pleasure. Thank you so much for all you’re doing. I mean, Destiny Awakens. Here we go. Right?

Andrew Hryniewicz

Yeah, great.